october second

my intention in every season is to speak out of love. it is not my aim to live after the world's opinion, but rather to maintain perfect sweetness with the independence of solitude amidst the crowded streets of new york. i refuse to give in to the belief that in a city of millions, there are faces who will simply blend with the masses, whose talents are great but lost in the thickness of ten thousand stars. i pray that the handful of hearts i keep close to my own understand today how passionate i am for their lives. i pray that my true power in this city will come from the ability to choose the words that will affect another, so that they might recognize their own greatness. 

philosophical and abstract thinking aside, everything is well here in gotham. i have been in this apartment for a month...  

with this sweet bearded man at my side... 

work has been steady, and a constant learning experience as i am no longer considered "the intern", but i am so happy to be a full time member of the agency and am looking forward to big projects in the coming months. and my bosses were kind enough to release me to the west coast for a week, where i spent some time with this goof... 

my best to all, wherever you may be.

august thirtieth

well this is certainly far overdue. but, in my defense, big things have been happening since we spoke last. so please, bear with me as i recount the past few weeks of my life.

in my last post i mentioned my all-too-quickly approaching birthday... and while i was expecting balloons, flowers, and sweets, they were all delivered to an undesirable address. it was friday afternoon when i started feeling a little off at work. but, being the obstinate girl that i am, i ignored my weakened state and decided that it was nothing to worry about. with the saturday sunrise i learned that this was not the case. fever, chills, nausea, the whole nine yards. still, i avoided the doctor against my better judgement and decided to lie low for the day... but when the weekend came to a close and my condition had worsened exponentially, including a new stabbing pain that radiated from my stomach to my back, i decided it might be time to seek medical attention. despite this decision, it wasn't until six o'clock monday evening that something was done about the whole ordeal. at that time i was rushed to the emergency room after an inability to keep food down for almost four days, with a skyrocketing fever that never seemed to cease. after endless tests, cat-scans, blood work, and x-rays, i was informed that i had an extreme case of pyelonephritis... a kidney infection. my cat-scan revealed that my right kidney had nearly tripled in size due to the infection, and i was immediately admitted to the hospital on a strict routine of i/v fluids, antibiotics, and morphine. much to my dismay, and another blow to my already hurting heart, the doctors advised that i would be in the hospital for at least three days. great... my twenty-second birthday, far from home, alone in a hospital bed.

but love and blessings always come in surprise doses. i am far beyond fortunate that in moving to new york, i gained a sweet, sweet cousin who stayed with me as much as she could. and to my added delight and unexpected wonder, my beau flew down from buffalo to be by my side. after a few restless days and nights, i was released with a regime of antibiotics and allowed to carefully enjoy the rest of my birthday weekend and returned to work on monday.

segue: speaking of work....

i am now officially a paid, full-time associate designer with gigante vaz partners! i have been so lucky to work and learn under this agency over the summer and am looking forward to continuing this professional journey while developing my talents and expanding my experience level.

and finally....

i am moving to bushwick on saturday! my own place in new york! well, almost my own place. i will be sharing this lovely apartment with my sweets, but am overly excited to start a new chapter. additional photos to come as decorations and furniture ensue..

i have a strong feeling that new york in the fall is going to be one for the books. 

july twenty-ninth

someone very near to my heart recently asked me if i knew anything about dreams. and although we were discussing the pseudo physical, semi-conscious form of dreaming, i couldn't help but think of the concrete manifestation of these trance-like hallucinations. i turn twenty-two years old next week. twenty-two years of living. birthdays call for both an open and a close, a period of reflection and and an occasion for tactical strategizing of the next three hundred and sixty some odd days. dreams, if you will.  i can remember being eight years old and wanting the moon, figuratively that is, and as i grew older, learning what it would take to get there. my life has been a lesson of courage, of flexibility, perseverance, and a consistent refusal to be crippled by fear. i believe in forgetting and forgiving past mistakes, and in appreciative thanksgiving for accordant faith. new york is a city of dreamers, and i am so grateful for the twenty-one years that it took to get here. these streets are filled with the ceaseless pursuit of ideas, and i'm just another soul contributing to the chase. twenty-two will be a year of extravagant dreams.

july sixth

i have made myself so readily unavailable to silence and stillness as of late, falling into the helpless cycle of consistent diligence. and as i sit here and remind myself to breathe this morning i can't help but wonder when the idea of busyness became a complaint disguised in the most boisterous fashion. today i want to be the opposition, not lost in idleness or indifference, but rather a focused individual relishing in  how simple and unappreciated twenty-four hours can be.

"find me here, speak to me, in the place where i find peace again."

june twenty-ninth

i'd like to start by apologizing for the time-lapse between posts. new york is a busy place and i've been simply spellbound by the splendor of the city, lost in the lifeblood that floods the streets. after a month of being here, i finally feel like i'm a part of the crowd, no longer am i sticking out like a sore southern thumb. i have gained a better sense of direction, skimmed the surface of gotham's vernacular, and learned the ever handy secret of city flats. the big apple has forced me to grow up a great deal in a short amount of time, and i'm grateful for every lesson learned.

work has been constant, which is a blessing for both the agency and my ever curious mind. i've been transitioning from a social media management intern into a creative as those above me recognize my eye for cinematography. recently i've been planning, shooting, and editing still photography and short spots for one of our top clients (of course for confidentiality reasons i can't divulge much more than that) and experimenting with animation. it has been so refreshing to be back in an editing bay, i hope that my diverse background will soon be held invaluable and the powers that be are forced to keep me on board. only time will tell.

until next time friends. 

june eleventh

i had a beautiful weekend in the city. a few shows, a nice date, a long run, and a good book... all made for a perfect reprise after a busy week. but mondays always come and here i sit at work again. luckily, i have some new editing software to play with! here are two of my favorite shots from yesterday. 

when i get caught dancing to the justified album at work.

june fourth

these six a.m. wake-up calls will be the death of me... but if i keep reminding myself what i'm working towards, it all seems worth it. i love waking up every morning with a purpose. this isn't to say that i lacked one before, but now i have a centralized focus and my professional life makes a bit more sense. super duper excited to get my brand-new iMac desktop (company provided) complete with final cut pro on wednesday! the editing nerd inside me will certainly be in full force and i am looking forward to utilizing my production skills here at the agency. 

a few north carolina friends are coming into town this weekend, i'll be happy to have a little piece of home here in the big city, if only for a short time. missing the south every day! peggy and i gathered some interesting statistics the other night: number of chick-fil-a's in NC, 143... number of chick-fil-a's in CA, 50.... number of chick-fil-a's in NY, 1. blasphemy. maybe someone will send me a carolina care package sometime soon....

june first

three days. that's all it's been, and it only took one to know i made the right decision. i came to new york on a leap of faith, uncertain of my position within this line of work but confident that given the opportunity, i could make things happen. and sure enough i was right. my internship began on wednesday and already i'm demonstrating my capability as an employee and a media professional. for those of you who don't know, i'm working for an advertising agency called 

we specialize in business to business advertising and are a small firm of twelve + one intern. gigante vaz is a true testament to the philosophy "less is more"... we are devoted to client service and operate on a more personal level than larger, mainstream agencies. this summer i will be working on a commercial real estate account, Mack-Cali, and hope to prove my worth in order to land a full time position in the near future. this means i arrive first, leave late, and never complain about working for free. i'm so very excited and grateful for this opportunity, and look forward to sharing my experiences with you. 

may twenty-ninth

holy heatwave batman. the swimmy-wonderment sense of being the city has created within my soul is quickly melting away with the no nonsense temperatures we've had the past few days. trying to take in all the sights and learn the area is no picnic when you're drenched in your own sweat... segue - speaking of picnics, i had a wonderful memorial day around and about brooklyn yesterday and i hope the same for you and your families wherever they may be. the highlight of my holiday had to be the evening i spent at the brooklyn bridge park. it was a beautiful sight right before sunset, afterwards i walked a few blocks away from the water into an area known as dumbo (which i learned is an acronym for down under the manhattan bridge overpass, silly really...) and had the most wonderful meal at an italian cafe (focaccia and homemade pappardelle with lamb and asparagus, tiramisu for dessert). after dinner we ventured back towards the bridge and walked along the promenade, where i snapped some sensational shots of the most breathtaking view of the city at night. 

may twenty-sixth

i played tourist today. it was a sweltering eighty-six degrees in the city, and after riding the subway in from brooklyn, the first step i took landed me face down on the street in the middle of times square. obviously my balance hasn't improved since my arrival... be that as it may, i carried on and spent an absolutely delightful day taking in all the sights. from broadway to central park, i patrolled the town in reverent fashion, allowing myself time to fully appreciate each stop along the way.

may twenty-fifth

woke up to grey skies this morning in manhattan. the weather has been somber since my arrival but it has had little to no effect on the mood of the city. i have instantly fallen in love with the constant scramble, the four a.m. discordant traffic, and the bagels at murray's on sixth avenue. running on little to no sleep, we headed across the bridge into brooklyn today to unpack and settle in to my nook on thirty-sixth street. it's safe to say that nook is a generous term, i laid on the floor this afternoon and found that my limbs touched both walls. nevertheless, it is home now, and as i slowly slip from tiredness into exhaustion i welcome the coziness of this tiny niche.

i am thankful for the ceaseless and matchless love of my parents that brought me here so far from home, and though i may be afraid, i know because of them that strong people are not made easily. it has been a long road, both literally and metaphorically, but i have been given a spirit of power and of self-control and am ready for the challenges ahead. 

may nineteenth

thursday means a fresh start. a new city, a new job, a new plan. the only constant is the same blonde soul you've always known. i hope to leave my thoughts here as often as i can, but until then i'll keep you waiting. because, as it turns out, thursday is quickly approaching.